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Socially Unacceptable Post 9: Just Ask

Third week’s a charm.

“Did you ask her to be your girlfriend yet?” my sibling asked.

“No!” I said, mortified. “It’s been a week.”

“But you like her, don’t you?”

“Shut up shut up shut up!”

I did like her, but I was preparing myself to die. I was already drowning, how could I pull her into the water with me?

Three weeks and I could no longer help myself. The immensity of the crush made scaring her away a horrible prospect, and made me want to be even closer to her. The guilt pounded into me like nails.

So I asked.

So…I feel like I really relate well to you and think about you a lot. Would you ever be interested in maybe being girlfriends? I like you but I don’t want you to worry about hurting my feelings. If that definitely is something you don’t want, that is understandable and I won’t be offended. But I feel like I have never connected as well with anyone else, even my best friend. ……ok gonna hit send now before I hit backspace.

She was open to the idea, but not yet.

Expecting immediate rejection, I wasn’t prepared for a maybe. Or for when that maybe turned into a yes.

Post 9 in Socially Unacceptable: The Daily Life of a Queer Schizophrenic Wreck (2022)

This is an autobiographical series about my life, something I have wanted to do for a long time. I intend to add new content daily.

For the whole series, follow this link.

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