Writing

Socially Unacceptable Post 10: Disaster of Epic Proportions


That can be our ship name. We are both disasters. Together, we are a “Disaster of Epic Proportions.”

It was a bad mental health day, which meant my schizophrenia was running rampant. I was hallucinating voices and people. I was fucking exhausted.

I said I can’t talk tonight Marie, I am too sick. I am mentally sick.

Two minutes later I said, never mind, I want to talk to you. I just won’t be the best company. If that’s ok.

We talked.

She said she wanted to share a song with me, that she had been considering sending to me for some time.

My brain: it’s something sexually explicit maybe. Something she is worried how I would react to being a sex-repulsed ace.

The song was “Pad the Road Wi Me” by Malinkey.

Says I, “My dearest Molly, come let us fix the time

Fan ye and I will mairried be and wedlock us combine

Fan ye and I get mairried, love, richt happy we will be

For ye are the bonnie lassie that’s tae pad the road wi’ me”

“Tae pad the road wi’ you, sir, cauld winter’s comin’ on

Besides, my aged parents have ne’er a girl but one

Besides, my aged parents have ne’er a girl but me

So I’m no’ the bonnie lassie that’s tae pad the road wi’ thee”

“Oh never mind cauld winter, love, the spring will follow on

Come sit ye doon beside me, and I’ll sing you a nice song

I’ll sing you a nice song while I diddle ye on ma knee

For you’re the bonnie lassie that’s tae pad the road wi’ me”

“Oh the ither lads that I hae had, they proved of cruel mind

They beat me and bad used me and proved tae be unkind

They beat me and bad used me and garred me rue the day

That e’er I gied my love tae them tae pad the road away”

“Oh lassie, dearest lassie, love, I’d never dae ye wrang

It’s on my honest faither’s life I swear I’ll dae nae hairm

I’ll busk ye braw and fairer so ye could bear the gree

As the belle o’ a’ the country ‘roond tae pad the road wi’ me”

So she has donned her hose and shoon and tae the kirk they’ve gaen

And lang, ay lang ‘ere mornin’ that couple were made ane

And lang, lang ‘ere the mornin’, her troubles were set free

For she’s the bonnie lassie that’s tae pad the road wi’ me

For she’s the bonnie lassie that’s tae pad the road wi’ me

She’s the bonnie lassie that’s tae pad the road wi’ me

My brain was functioning on 1% so I was like ok, cute love song, why did this take you so long to be willing to send it to me?

This was her way of accepting my offer to be girlfriends.

My mind short-circuited.

And so Disaster of Epic Proportions became a reality.

Post 10 in Socially Unacceptable: The Daily Life of a Queer Schizophrenic Wreck (2022)

This is an autobiographical series about my life, something I have wanted to do for a long time. I intend to add new content daily.

For the whole series, follow this link.

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